Hi Greg,

My name is <redacted>. I am a recruiter at <redacted>, a five billion dollar financial service company.

To be honest with you, I was emailing you to see if you might be interested in a full time position as a UX Designer.

<redacted> offers a competitive salary, good benefits, supportive leadership and career growth. If you are interested in promotion, this is the place to be as we value our internal associates and will guide them in their career.

For more details on the role, please visit <redacted>

If this is of interest to you, please apply online, indicate you were contacted by a <redacted> recruiter and circle back to me directly.

We are on a short time line to surface viable candidates for this role and will be setting up interviews this week.

Best Regards,

Alright, I’ll give this recruiter cred for cutting to the chase within three sentences, but leveling with me that you’re trying to woo me with a job when you’re a recruiter is like a car salesman admitting that he/she wants to sell me a vehicle. They get points for naming the company they’re recruting for but if you’re fishing in a fairly popular pond, you have to use better bait to get a bite.  The above e-mail only got me to click the attached URL so I could write this blog post.

Tips & Pointers for recruiters:

  • Generic corporate speak doesn’t make you sound profressional, it makes you sound bland, boring and stuffy even if you dress it down with causal speak.
  • Using tired lines like “good benefits” is pretty relativistic and reads more like “not full benefits” or “we can’t brag about offering vision or dental”.  You and I may have very different views on “good benefits”. Use quantifiable things how many paid vacation days or flexiable scheduling. People like perks, and they are easy to compare versus one’s current position.
  • Dropping lines about company revenue doesn’t say anything about profitability, culture, or enviroment. In the finance sector, moving around millions of dollars is just another day. My company is only working with a few million in a year but all of us do well. Deep pockets doesn’t mean anything is going to magically trickle down to me.
  • If your job posting only describes the things wanted in a candidate, you’ve already lost me. I’m gainfully employeed at a job I like, in a company that’s kick-ass, with and owner and a boss that cares. There’s plenty of people in my position.  You may get “Joe Candidate” looking to make the next big jump but you’re not going to get any response from me or anyone like me. I can already tell you that I’m likely not a good fit for a financial firm based on previous interviews when job hunting in the past but you might be different and I’d never know. I didn’t even make it to searching Glassdoor.com to see what employees thought of the employer. 
  • Most of us are already are getting plenty of job offers.  Most of us do not want them. Think like a job seeker, and post your jobs to relevant communities. Do you offer remote work? There’s a board for that.  Do a little homework and you won’t have to try and lure people from their current positions.
  • Looking for a particular skill? Have you tried local meetup groups? Usually you’ll find a mix of the happily employed and the ones looking for new opportunities. You probably don’t have to even attend, just e-mail the organizers to see their position on job postings.
  • Do not cold call your candidates. Did you ever get that call from Comcast wanting you to upgrade your cable? Remember how you had to be curt to get out of 3 minute sales pitch? Exactly. Desperation is not an endearing trait. If you must call them, schedule a call.

Employers who are desperate for talent need to recognize that salary alone isn’t all that matters. Parents with young-ones are going to appreciate the ability to work from home or have flexiable schedules. New home owners probably will love extra vacation days or even optional furlow days to spend time fixing up their house. Sports enthusiasts will love being able to leave early to see the big game. Gamers and night owls will enjoy starting work 10 am.  Think like a human. We all work, but we are people outside of our jobs.  Pay alone won’t land you amazing candidates.